My New Favorite Lingerie Store...

I just had to share this because I think it's hilarious!

This ensemble is called "Lickety Split" ha haha! The panties are split-crotch panties. I love this name... it's just so appropriate! This online lingerie shop called LoveFifi has a lot of interesting pieces. I'm ordering a few things now, and am having a lot of fun doing it. I like that they have a sense of humor, and their pricing is decent. Looks like a lot of people who ordered things got them quickly, which is a bonus. Online lingerie shops are notorious for making you wait FOREVER for your orders to ship. I don't know why this is.


My other favorite shop is Trashy Lingerie. It's more expensive, but they have the best costumes. The quality ranges from cheap to very well made. The pricing reflects the product. I've gotten a few things from here, as well.


I'll admit this: I'm a lingerie addict. I have more lingerie than clothes. Is there group therapy for this affliction? I spend a LOT of money on things that most people will never even see me in. I have things that even my boyfriend has never seen me in. I have a problem.


Anyone else have this problem? Maybe we should start our own little group therapy... it'll include a lingerie fashion show and swap. ;-)

My New Corset

I got a new corset. I love new lingerie. It's so exciting!

The front... had to posterize to disguise my nipples

From the back... hard angle to get!

Angle view

I actually ordered a couple more already, too... I hope they fit. If there were a place around here that I could try them on instead of having to order them online, that would be ideal... but alas, I am forced to take a spin on the roulette wheel of chance that the next ones will fit me as well as this one did.


I hope you're having a wonderful week...


kisses, B

Wednesday - Hump Day

Okay, if I were to name all of my celebrity crushes, there would be a few guys and a few girls, too. I'm viscerally attracted to these people, and probably would fall apart at the seams if I actually were to come face to face with any of them.


First one is a common one, I'm sure. Jake Gyllenhaal.

Yes, your smoldering eyes and strong mouth make me cross my legs when I look at you... starting with Donnie Darko and continuing on with Lovely & Amazing... you stole my heart at an early age, you hot, foxy hunk of Man. If I were still a virgin when I first laid eyes on you, I'd have saved it. For you. Muah. xoxoxoxoxo


Next on my fantasy love list is Zooey Deschanel. You're gorgeous, 

Image source

funny, have a lovely voice and talented writing skills, and I love you. The funny thing here is that you and Jake look like you could be related. Or make a very stunning couple! (Don't even think about it. Either of you!) I first saw you on Elf, and didn't think much of your hair color, but I loved your voice and your quirkiness. Then I saw you in Tin Man and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and it was official. I developed my crush. Big time.


Those are my Absolute Top Two. There are some other, less important crushes. Ones that come and go with the hairstyles. But Jake could lose 50 pounds, shave his head (which he recently did) and I'd still want him. Zooey could get a crappy haircut, do a lot of bad movies, and I'd still love her. 


I wanted to list more for you, but these two eclipse the others. I mean, there are others. They just don't hold a candle to either of these flames.


Do I maybe have a thing for dark-haired, light-eyed beauties? Hmm... could be. I don't know. Because on the list used to be Jason London, though he's no longer on it. 

I also had a thing for Matthew McConaughey and Matt Damon. Blonds with blue eyes. It's not so much how they look, though. It's characters that they've played. McConaughey's character in Dazed and Confused. Classic! And Damon's character in Good Will Hunting. That's when I fell for him. Wasn't he brilliant in Invictus?  

Image source

Image source

Love them. Really. They're beautiful people. Matt Damon does a lot of charity work. That's a turn on. And I also had a thing for Sandra Bullock for a while. 

Image source

She could have been a model, but she chose to be a funny lady in the movies. I still think they're all adorable. None of those crushes lasted, however. Only Jake and Zooey continue to hold a flame in my heart. I keep it burning, baby. Just in case we DO ever meet, and conditions are perfect for an amazing threesome.... HOT. HOT. HOT. I'd die a very satisfied woman.

Some Random Thoughts

Honestly, with all the people on this planet, why do I only seem to find sexy, pretty women online, but not in real life? 


Earlier this year, I was at this bar in town, and a girl came up to me, grabbed me by the hand, and pulled me out to the dance floor. We danced together for a while. (She was cute, too!) After a while, my boyfriend came and asked if we could leave because he had some things to do, and we'd been out all day... but I wondered if I had stayed, would I maybe have gotten my first girl-kiss? I really want to kiss a girl. Like now. It would probably be nice because I wouldn't have to worry about getting beard-burn, like from my boyfriend's five o'clock shadow! 


I try not to feel too left behind the times. I never "experimented" in college. Well, not with girls, I mean. I had different experiments going on during college, ha ha. Mostly of the chemical and plant variety.


I had a chance, though. There was this time when my housemate, S, climbed onto my bed and kissed me on my mouth, but I figured it was just a friend kiss. (No tongue.) I was too flabbergasted to even think of maybe kissing her back. When I think about her, I recall that she used to walk around half-naked after she showered. I didn't think anything of it, though. Should I have? She wore her towel only around her hips, leaving her breasts exposed. She frequently commented on wishing that she had my tits, which were slightly larger than her own. All these things should have alerted me, but they didn't. I was pretty young, and really naive. She also used to tell me how cute and dainty I was compared to her. She had large hands, and she used to put them up to mine and say, "I have man hands. Your hands disappear in mine!" I never really knew what to say to her when she made these little comparisons. We were friends, you know? We had fun together, driving around town, singing out loud, making dinner for each other, going out with boys then dishing on our dates later with a glass of wine and a fat joint. Maybe that was my one shot at seeing what it would be like with a girl? I don't know. I'd hate to think that I'm never going to have my first experience....


Did I wait too long? {Sigh...}


Don't get me wrong, though. I think boys are adorable. A cute guy will turn my head in a heartbeat. There's just nothing new there. My burning desire is to play around with a girl, who's soft, like me. So many of my friends have had their girl-girl experiences. They had them, they maybe enjoyed them, but then they were done. I was pretty chicken-shit when it came to approaching women. I figured that it was partly because I'm only attracted to femme girls. But how do you know if a femme girl is into girls? She may only be into guys, and then you'd feel like an asshole. {Sigh...}


Okay, well, I'm not giving up. I just need to focus, that's all. If anyone has any bright ideas, speak up, okay? Don't leave me hangin'.

Suddenly

... the door slammed open.
... her eyes quickly fluttered.
... a wind gusted into the open window.
... he smelled a familiar scent on his pillow case.
... her heart sped up and a trickle of perspiration rolled down her back.
... her hand drew a line down his back.
... her nipples grew turgid, and were visible through her blouse.
... I wish you were here.


What do you wish suddenly happened?

Fantasies

When I think of my fantasies, I don't actually want them to come true. I think this is the difference between female and male fantasies. I could be wrong, but when I've spoken to guys about their fantasies, they're always pretty true-to-life situations, and when I asked them if they wanted them to be realized, the answer was always "Yes!"


My own fantasies are not things that I'd even want to bring to light. They're dark and furtive things that I want to keep in the dark recesses of my mind. A few girls that I've talked to about their fantasies have similar ones... things that if they actually happened in real life would be quite disturbing.


It's kind of interesting to me to note this difference. Is it only the people that I've spoken with? Or is this sort of typical with men that their fantasies are things that they actually want to happen, and with women, they're things that they only admit to themselves, to give themselves a thrill, but would not actually want to see happen in their lives?

What road do your fantasies live on? Would you want them to be realized? Would you want to be the star of a peep show? Strip in front of a crowd of people? What fantasies excite you? I've always enjoyed showing off my body, so either of these are hot options for me to consider. They aren't for everyone, of course. The human mind is so diverse from person to person... I find people infinitely fascinating! I hope you'll share some of your fantasies with me...

Looking for a Connection

So, has anyone ever found a partner by advertising? When I was 22 or 23, I advertised in the back of a local paper in the "Seeking" section. I was looking for an interesting guy to go out with... basically looking for a boyfriend, as I was so busy going to school and working. I didn't have time to look for anyone, and a friend of mine that had done this met some cool people. So I gave it a shot.

Is meeting someone in a bar the only way?

I got a lot of letters from some real characters, but one turned out to be the best guy I could've met for myself at that time. He was incredibly sexual, open to new things, also introduced me to some new things... he was a sweetheart and so imaginative. I will always appreciate what he did for my self-esteem, too. 

Feeling antsy...

More recently, I've looked into using Craigslist to find a partner for my first time with a woman, and it hasn't amounted to anything. I'm thinking that it's not the best way to do this, but I don't have a lot of options really. If anyone knows of a better way, then I'd appreciate the advice.
  

Taking a chance

I know it's naive to expect it, but I'd like my first time with a woman to be magical. I'm a romantic, what can I say? But I'd also settle for completely debauched and horny, if they have to be exclusive from romance. Is it wrong to want it all?

A Bedtime Story

I wanted to tell you a little "bedtime" story. I hope you enjoy it.


She woke up from a deep sleep... the kind of sleep that leaves your body slowly, fogging your mind and your senses. She threw off the covers but still lay on the bed, allowing the dullness to seep out of her. 


As she became a little more alert, she realized that her nerves were a little on edge. She had the distinct feeling of not being alone. She lay there, with her t-shirt up around her waist, listening with her full attention, and then pulled her shirt down to cover herself a little better. She couldn't hear anything, so she sat up in bed. That was when she saw a movement outside of her window. A furtive movement that caught her attention like a bear trap.


She stopped herself from running to the window because in the moment that she was aware of a peeping tom, she also realized that she knew him. He was the new neighbor who had moved in upstairs! She had found him attractive in a quirky way, but hadn't thought too much about him. The thought that he was drawn to her caused an interesting sensation in her belly. He wanted to watch her sleep? Or maybe was hoping for more of a show...


She stayed where she was, but sat up on the bed, and fixed her hair a little. Her long, blond layers were scrambled around her head, and she used her fingers to straighten them out a little. Her pussy gave a little pulse as the idea of "putting on a show" started to sink in.


She got up and stretched with her arms up over her head... allowing her t-shirt to hike up and show her panties. She did some basic stretches to work out the night's kinks in her body. She saw through the reflection in a framed picture on her wall that her peeper had returned. She felt another pulse of excitement and her heart sped up a bit.


She slowly lifted off her shirt, and threw it on her hamper. She felt her body with her hands... enjoying the slight friction across her skin, her nipples. She noticed that they perked right up and smiled inside. She walked to her bathroom and deliberately opened up the window about 3" to get some ventilation, and stepped out of her panties. She knew that her neighbor, Tom? Shawn?, would make his way to the newly opened window which was only a few feet from the other. She felt so much excitement building in her to think of his eyes following her... watching her, seeing her move and touch herself, knowing that he'd get an erection because of her...


She turned on the shower and tied up her hair. She stepped in and left the curtain open a bit on the end that faced the window. She thought she saw him move carefully into view. She turned away so that he wouldn't worry about being caught by her. 


She pumped a handful of soap into her hand and lathered up her body, using long strokes along her belly and sides, and then all around her firm ass. She bent forward to wash her legs, giving him a perfect view of her butt and snatch. She felt herself getting wet on the inside... she had no idea that she was capable of such a thing as showing herself to a stranger, but she was enjoying it so much that she didn't stop to think. She just lathered her body and moved so that he could see every inch of her that was possible to see. She turned with her eyes closed, feeling his eyes on her, and rubbed her breasts clean, making her nipples stand out from the suds like two tight pink rosebuds. Her hands were his hands in her mind... his hands covered in soapy bubbles, spreading across her wet, warm body... his hands moving down towards her pussy, rubbing down between her legs... the water sluicing down her front, the hand down, the fingers pressing against her clit... she was lost in the moment and continued to touch herself, one hand rubbing and grabbing her tits, and the other hand putting a delicious pressure on her pussy... she had forgotten herself and her hand moved in and out of her tight little hole... keeping pressure on her clit as she did so, her mouth relaxed open, the water cascaded over her body... outside, her neighbor's eyes were glued to her as his hand pulled at his hard cock inside his pants...

What I Did Today...

So, I don't know if I mentioned this yet, but I love to show myself to others. I'm very naughty that way. I get a thrill by revealing myself... it's as much a thrill to me as going on a roller coaster. 


I especially enjoy revealing myself to women, and wondering if they were turned on by me. When I say reveal myself, I mean by way of the PhotoSwap app on the iPhone. It's a fun way to see inside of other people's lives, often under their clothes, ha ha, and to show them a little of yourself, also.


The most exciting thing is to get a good "dialogue" going with one person... swapping sexy photos for a while. Each revelation more exciting than the last... more daring. More graphic.


I would never share any of those photos I've received online, as they are private pictures, sent to me only. The photos that I share of myself with others, I'd hope would stay in their possession, also. I have discovered, however, that someone posted a series of photos of me. I wasn't happy that I'd been betrayed in that manner. Truly very disrespectful.


I may want to be seen, but I don't want to be advertised, if you know what I mean? The excitement for me is partly that it's a private, naughty exchange. Glimpses under the skirt, or a peek down the blouse. That's exciting. I've learned a few lessons from that discovery.


What gets you off? What excites you? If you're out there reading this... share with me. I want to know.


Back to PhotoSwap... ;-)


p.s.
Tomorrow I'm reading you a little bedtime story... hope you're here for that.

Discovering Yourself

When you were young, were you only attracted to the opposite sex? Or if you call yourself gay, were you only attracted to people of the same sex? (I don't care for labels, but it's the world we live in. Sorry if I sound coarse.) When I was young, I remember having crushes on boys, and becoming friends with girls. Nothing was unusual until I was around nine years old. At that age, my best friend, a girl, and I had dug around in my mom's undergarment drawer and found one of her corsets. We took turns putting it on ourselves, and having the other undo the eye-hooks, one at a time, sensually. (I put it down to too much exposure to her mom's "romance" novels, which we used to flip through for words like "breasts," "heaving," or "erect member.") We played pretend that one of us was a boy when we did this. I remember feeling especially naughty and also kind of aroused, inasmuch as you can be at nine.


I'm not sure how much that colored how I viewed my sexuality. I think that it's more telling that when another friend of mine and I discovered her father's stash of Penthouse magazines, that I was very fascinated with what I saw in their pages... images of women with other women, in very sensual settings. I returned to those images as often as I could! I was about 10 or 11 then.


I was still always crushing on boys, though. I don't even remember having crushes on any girls until much later. My early years were more about viewing other girls as either friends or competition. I wanted the attention of the boy that I was interested in, and I talked to my closest girlfriends about him. That's how it was. 

There are people that say they are "pan-sexual" and this is new to me. I'm not sure where I fit in... I don't like labels, as I've said. I feel that they're just ways people can put you into ordered boxes and I don't like being boxed. I prefer to be who I am and let others be who they are, and as long as everyone is happy with that, then that's okay.


Was your sexuality informed by your youthful experiences? Were you just always the same? I'm curious about this. Do you recall any defining moments in your youth? I STILL want to wear a corset and have another woman release me from it....


I still have yet to be with a woman. I've only had men as sex partners. I am longing for this to happen... but don't want to do anything that will not feel natural and organic. It just has to happen on its own, I think. I'm open to the experience.   

My First Blog Post... An Introduction

I started this blog as a way of opening up conversations with people regarding sexuality.


My (condensed, very truncated) story is this: I am a girl who grew up with conventional ideas about sex and sexuality, and I delved into this world too early. I had bad experiences that left me confused and a little damaged. (Psychologically, a lot damaged.) I withdrew. I met people who tried to encourage me to rejoin this world, but I was never really satisfied. As an adult, I finally was able to overcome my intimacy fears, and found this world opened up for me... in many different ways.


I'm here to talk to you about different issues regarding sex and sexuality. I find that I enjoy it very much now, and it's a surprise.


I hope you'll speak to me. Share your ideas, thoughts and feelings with me.